Count your blessings instead of sheep

Hey everyone!

So, I'm sitting in my apartment, completely alone, for New Year's Eve. Yeah, I know... it's lame, but I sorta got dumped 2 days ago and I wasn't exactly feeling the party party vibe. I guess I was feeling the self-loathing "why doesn't anyone get how great I am" and consequently "what's wrong with me?" vibe... But then I got to thinking - Hey, tons of people have it SOOOOOO much worse than me! There's homeless people! And hurricane refugees! People with incurable diseases! And the folks on Lost (even though being trapped on an island with a group of people THAT HOT wouldn't be THAT bad...)

So, I decided I needed to end my pity party, get off the bitter bus, and think about all of the things that made this year rad. So here goes.

Places I worked:

William Morris Agency (agent assistant)
Intrigue Music/Intrigue Group (assistant to CEO/paid sexless boyfriend)
Big Cup Cafe (coffee bitch/professional slut)
"All Shook Up" (that dude that hands out the Broadway flyers in Times Square)
Susan Blond Inc (Publicity Assistant)
Ziff Davis (Special Assistant for Digital Life Expo)
Shorefire Media (Assistant to Founder)
Estee Lauder (note taker for crazy Jew Foundation)
Grubb and Ellis (Real Estate Bitch)
Jono Productions (Door Bitch / Witty Commentator)

Places I lived:

1. The awesome house with the gogo boy/dirty masseuse and the Crystal addict / Scientologist in Silverlake
2. Superfrank's Apartment - 48th Floor ya'll!
3. 3-bedroom in Hell's Kitchen with crazy Chihuahua
4. 4-bedroom bachelor paradise in Washington Heights (big up to the heights!)

Places I traveled:

1. NY (living in Cali)
2. LA (living in NY)
3. London
4. Kansas City MO
5. Ft. Lauderdale
6. Vancouver
7. Orlando
8. Augusta, GA
9. Boston
10. Various parts of New Jersey
11. Minneapolis

Cute boys* I made out with (in sort of attempted chronological order):

Cassidy from Silverlake (dirty massage freak bicycle messenger with ROCK body)
Kyle (bf for 2 months - completely wonderful)
Martin - beautiful concierge at the Mandarin Oriental in London.
Oliver (first guy I kissed in NYC - STILL FRIENDS!)
Ryan - Love of my life - have made out with randomly since 2000 - will marry or bust.
Gorgeous Ft. Lauderdale Tourist Guy - Ryan? Brian?
Michael (from Levittown - rocked my world with stories about singing "Midnight Train to Georgia" with his mom.)
Hot closeted Adam4Adam guy who was supposedly on NYU water polo team (not verified)
Dirty massage freak II - New York edition
Xander (Scottish accent - knows EVERYTHING about art - totally fascinating - made me wait 3 months for a kiss)
Scout (from Big Cup - done while team seducing little Nick)
Little Nick (17 - adorable - DOESN'T LOOK 17)
Big Nick (has tattoo under right nipple that says "disaster" - kisses like he means it - ironically smaller in stature than "Little Nick"
Crazy Slutty Washington Heights guy from the train
Jay - Go-go boy - have made out and flirted with randomly since first moving to NYC - have vowed to someday actually take his pants off.
Jono - "The Lexus"
Chuck - the man whose dog fellated me
Joshua - wonderful kisser - helped me pick out great jeans - Sooooo tall...
JC - have only made out a little - will hopefully make out more properly in future?
Sexy "gippy" guy
Brad - sigh...

*This list does not include all of the not-cute guys I made out with this year... remember, these are lists of things to be THANKFUL for.

Albums I loved (no order):

1. Nikka Costa - Can'tneverdidnothin'
2. Mariah Carey - The Emancipation of Mimi
3. The Game - The Documentary
4. New Order - Waiting for the Siren's Call
5. Jaguar Wright - Divorcing Neo to Marry Soul
6. Death Cab for Cutie - Plans
7. Esthero - Wikkid Lil Grrrls
8. OKGO - OH NO
9. Mary J. Blige - The Breakthrough
10. Madonna - Confessions on a Dancefloor
11. Bruce Springsteen - Devils and Dust
12. Lil Kim - The Naked Truth
13. Motion City Soundtrack
14. Common - Be
15. Suftjan Stevens - Come On Feel The Illinoise!
16. The Corrs - Borrowed Heaven
17. Natasha Bedingfield - Unwritten
18. Garbage - Bleed Like Me
19. MIA - Arular
20. Fiona Apple - Extraordinary machine
21. Franz Ferdinand - You Could Have It So Much Better
22. Fabolous - Real Talk
23. Emma Bunton - Free Me
24. Diana Krall - Merry Christmas
25. Citizen Cope - The Clarence Greenwood Recordings
26. Black Eyed Peas - Monkey Business
27. Brazilian Girls
28. Beck - Guero
29. Amerie - Touch
30. Annie - Anniemal
31. Imogen Heap - Speak For Yourself
32. Missy Elliot - The Cookbook

Movies I loved (no order):

1. Mr. and Mrs. Smith
2. Harry Potter
3. TransAmerica
4. Me and You and Everyone We Know
5. Aeon Flux
6. Rumor Has It
7. Walk the Line
8. The Squid and the Whale
9. Closer
10. Sideways
11. The Island
12. The Aristocrats
13. Cinderella Man

Books I loved:

1. The Importance of Being Famous (Desconstructing the Celebrity Industrial Complex) - Maureen Orth
2. A Long Way Down - Nick Hornby
3. The Mysteries of Pittsburgh - Michael Chabon (perhaps favorite book of all time)
4. I Am Charlotte Simmons - Tom Wolfe
5. The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Nighttime
6. Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close - Jonathan Foer (I think?)
7. Invisible Monsters - Chuck Palanuik (again, sp?)

I did read more than this, I swear - but I don't think I liked that much of it...

New Favorite Websites (Yay Temping!)

1. Myspace
2. Gawker
3. Wonkette
4. MSNBC
5. NYTIMES
6. NYPOST
7. Salon
8. GoFugYourself
9. PopImage
10. UComics
11. Garbage's website when Shirley has her blog up

Fantastic, Ridiculous and Strange new Roommates:

1. Arran
2. Ian
3. Samus

New Friends (as in the kind that I had at least 2 outings with):

1. Kate
2. Julia
3. Katie
4. Michael
5. Oliver
6. Charles
7. Laurel
8. Kyle
9. Anna
10. Erica
11. Ross
12. Bianca
13. Nick LE
14. Carrie
15. Brad
16. Kathy
17. Ryan
18. Jenn
19. Chris
20. Jono
21. Xander

Places I ate fantastic meals:

1. Bossa Nova, LA
2. Luna Park, LA
3. Lala's, LA
4. Fred 62, LA
5. Tam O'Shanter, LA
6. Omelet Parlor, LA
7. Electric Lotus, LA
8. Vinyl, NYC
9. Eatery, NYC
10. Tom's Diner, NYC
11. The Palm, NYC
12. La Palapa, NYC
13. Yaffa Cafe, NYC
14. Epistrophe, NYC
15. Corner Shop, NYC
16. Coffee Shop, NYC
17. Havana Central, NYC (My B-day party!)
18. That Dominican Slop Place Up The Street
19. That Tapas Place That Ian Took Me On His First Night In NYC
20. La Paella

Museums I visited:

MoMA
Met
Neue Gallery
Museum of Sex
MoCA (LA)
LACMA (LA)
Getty Museum (LA)
The Cloisters
The Frick Gallery
MFA (Boston)
Isabella Stuart Gardner Museum (Boston)
Huntington Gallery and Botanical Gardens (LA)

Clubs/Parties I've attended:

Akbar
The Abbey
The Roost
UltraSuede
Lucky Strike
Avalon
That uber-gay club in London
Misshapes
Rock-n-Roll High
Duvet
Heaven
Maritime
Nouveau (sp?)
That underground place in the LES (I know... which one?)
That Place in the LES that I Went With Brad and Lost My Wallet
Shelter
Opaline
Boysroom

Times I've had my heart broken: 2

Times I've had random sexual acts performed on me by a dog: 2 (not the same dog!)

Times I've had scabies: 1 (not recommended)

Interviews with MTVN (who still have not come to their senses and hired me): 7

Times I've flown on a Private Jet: approximately 10

Bitchin New Material Possessions:

Jill Sander Suit
iBook (which I LOVE - it's so cute and little!)
Video iPod
Stolen Hoodie from Leyla (which used to belong to Pinkus, on whom I had a major crush)

Wow - that's actually not even close to all of the things that happened this year, but it took AN HOUR to write down (I have to say, excavating all of those make-out partners' names from the nether-regions of my mind took the longest...) and I feel WAY fucking better. This year ROCKED! It was SO MUCH better than last year! Next year can only be EVEN MORE FUCKING RAD-TASTIC!

Happy New Year EVERYONE!!!

Chances are, if you have this blog, I LOVE YOU!!!

XOXOXOXOXOOOXXOXOX

George

Homeless dance party

So this morning on the LOOOOOOOOONG walk to work accross Central Park South, a very drunk man (homeless? alcoholic?) emplored me to let him listen to my super foxy Bose headphones. Now, normally I would have no problem sharing the love, but did he HAVE to ask me while I was listening to Britney Spears' "Toxic?" I mean, could it have been something a little less embarassing? Does the drunk man need to know that on harder mornings I need a little Brit-Brit to light a fire under my ass?

So he listened. And he knew the song. And he sang. And I hate to be cliche, but I love New York.

On a side note, the woman who's desk I'm covering today left her computer password for me: Hogsmeade.

I would make fun of her geekiness if I didn't CLEARLY know exactly what Hogsmeade is.

In conclusion - the tone for the day is... embarassing.

OH. MY. GOD.

THE U.S.S. CHINCHILLA??????????????

WTF????????????????????????????

This is the best thing I have ever seen. Period. I'm going to quit everything I've been doing with my life to join up with these people and live a life of eternal CUTENESS!!!

Ms. Adventure

This morning, Kate and I headed out to Ft. Washington Park (with a preemptive stop at Starbucks) to scout locations for her audition video for Ms. Adventure - a forthcoming Animal Planet show in need of a host. Kate's one of the more adventurous spirits I've encountered, and she'd be perfect for it - also, the thought of her plummeting off of cliffs and jumping out of airplanes kind of tickles me.

For all of NYC's urban granduer, it's so easy to forget that IT'S AN ISLAND! With rocks and cliffs and huge expanses with NO BUILDINGS - where you can't even SEE BUILDINGS! It made me miss home and Wrightwood like crazy, but again made me grateful to live in a city that literally has everything...

I can't get "A Whole New World" from Aladdin out of my head. I think it's going to be my theme for December... I want to try some new things.

That being said, I'm off to downtown for some quality time with former Big Cup employee, J.C., and God knows what after...

Later today I'm going to try to put a bunch of pics of Ft. Washington and the Little Red Lighthouse - stay tuned!

Um... I stink.

A little bit of winter trivia for you: Union suits used to be the great symbol of winter among frontier families. Toward the end of fall, the men would strap them on, and then wouldn't remove them until the spring. When the spring came, the women would all gather with their husband's union suites to boil them en masse.

I've been wearing my union suit for 2 days. And I stink.

I mean, every time I so much as open my legs while sitting down, I get a truly stank whiff of a smell that could only be crotch.

I'm sure that the really hot, sweaty, absolutely fucking filthy anal sex last night didn't help either...

Pooping in my union suit

Alright, so for those of you who don't know, I've recently become terribly fascinated with Union Suits (those giant one-sy long underwear outfits that Dr. Seuss characters always wear - yes, with the little but flap). So fascinated that after a few unsuccessful trips to Army Surplus store, I put my mom on Ebay patrol and received TWO of them in the mail this week! They're wonderful. They make me look completely frumpy and ridiculous but they're SO WARM.

However.

Up until this morning, I never really had to worry about the actual logistics of wearing one of these things around - I'd really just lounged around the house and then had some simulated sex in it - but nothing too... committal?

So this morning when I jumped out of bed (late again), threw on my suit and headed out the door to a high-class realty firm, it never occured to me: WHAT ABOUT MY MORNING SHIT BREAK?

I came in, coffee and bran muffin in hand (what? I like to be regular!), did about 5 minutes of work and headed to the bathroom, where as soon as I undid the first button in my pants, I was reminded of the... awkwardness of my situation. Initially I thought, "Well, great! This is what the butt flap is for!" But the butt flap appears to have been designed for someone with a significantly less ample derier, and on top of that, it still leaves this whole piece of fabric covering your fleshy fun bridge, and I personally was not comfortable with the idea of what kind of... um... spill-over there might be onto that space.

It was clear. I had to take the damn thing off. Which meant I had to take off my shirt, undo the damn suit and drop my pants in the in the bathroom of a company I've worked at for 5 minutes. I kept my tie on, so I wouldn't have to re-tie it later, so essentially I was sitting on the pot wearing nothing but a tie, and PRAYING that no one would come into the bathroom, glance through the crack in the stall and gather that I was the PERVIEST TEMP EVER and immediately notify my agency.

Thank God - no one came in, and about a half-hour later when I finally figured out how to get back into the damn thing, I continued my day, warm and toasty as ever.